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And therefore will I leave off metaphysical Discussion, which is neither here nor there : agree that what is, is; then this I call

If I

Being quite perspicuous and extremely fair; The truth is, I've grown lately rather phthisical:

I don't know what the reason is—the air Perhaps; but as I suffer from the shocks Of illness, I grow much more orthodox.


The first attack at once proved the Divinity
(But that I never doubted, nor the Devil);
The next, the Virgin's mystical virginity;
The third, the usual Origin of Evil;

The fourth at once established the whole Trinity
On so uncontrovertible a level,

That I devoutly wish'd the three were four,
On purpose to believe so much the more.


To our theme.-The man who has stood on the


And look'd down over Attica; or he
Who has sail'd where picturesque Constantinople is,
Or seen Timbuctoo, or hath taken tea

In small-eyed China's crockery-ware metropolis,
Or sat amidst the bricks of Nineveh,

May not think much of London's first appearance-
But ask him what he thinks of it a year hence?


Don Juan had got out on Shooter's Hill ;(1)
Sunset the time, the place the same declivity
Which looks along that vale of good and ill

Where London streets ferment in full activity;
While every thing around was calm and still,
Except the creak of wheels, which on their pivot he
Heard, and that bee-like, bubbling, busy hum
Of cities, that boil over with their scum :-


I say, Don Juan, wrapt in contemplation,
Walk'd on behind his carriage, o'er the summit,
And lost in wonder of so great a nation,

Gave way to't, since he could not overcome it.
"And here," he cried, " is Freedom's chosen station;
Here peals the people's voice, nor can entomb it
Racks, prisons, inquisitions; resurrection

Awaits it, each new meeting or election.


"Here are chaste wives, pure lives; here people pay But what they please; and if that things be dear, 'Tis only that they love to throw away

Their cash, to show how much they have a-year. Here laws are all inviolate; none lay

Traps for the traveller; every highway's clear: Here" he was interrupted by a knife, [life!"With,-"Damn your eyes! your money or your

(1) ["From the summit of Shooter's Hill, which is eight miles from London, on the road to Dover, there is a delightful view of the metropolis, and the shipping on the Thames."- Kent Tourist.]


These freeborn sounds proceeded from four pads In ambush laid, who had perceived him loiter Behind his carriage; and, like handy lads,

Had seized the lucky hour to reconnoitre, In which the heedless gentleman who gads Upon the road, unless he prove a fighter, May find himself within that isle of riches Exposed to lose his life as well as breeches.


Juan, who did not understand a word

Of English, save their shibboleth, “God damn!” And even that he had so rarely heard,

He sometimes thought 'twas only their " Salam," Or "God be with you!"—and 'tis not absurd To think so: for half English as I am

(To my misfortune) never can I say

I heard them wish "God with you," save that way;


Juan yet quickly understood their gesture,
And being somewhat choleric and sudden,
Drew forth a pocket pistol from his vesture,
And fired it into one assailant's pudding-

Who fell, as rolls an ox o'er in his pasture,

And roar'd out, as he writhed his native mud in, Unto his nearest follower or henchman,

[man !"

"Oh Jack! I'm floor'd by that 'ere bloody French


On which Jack and his train set off at speed,
And Juan's suite, late scatter'd at a distance,
Came up, all marvelling at such a deed,

And offering, as usual, late assistance.
Juan, who saw the moon's late minion (1) bleed
As if his veins would pour out his existence,
Stood calling out for bandages and lint,

And wish'd he had been less hasty with his flint.


"Perhaps," thought he, "it is the country's wont
To welcome foreigners in this way: now
I recollect some innkeepers who don't
Differ, except in robbing with a bow,
In lieu of a bare blade and brazen front.
But what is to be done? I can't allow
The fellow to lie groaning on the road:
So take him up; I'll help you with the load."


But ere they could perform this pious duty,
The dying man cried, "Hold! I've got my gruel!
Oh! for a glass of max! (2) We've miss'd our booty;
Let me die where I am!" And as the fuel

(1) ["Falstaff. Diana's foresters, gentlemen of the shade, minions of the moon and let men say, we be men of good government; being governed as the sea is, by our noble and chaste mistress the moon, under whose countenance we-steal."- · Henry IV.]

(2) [Gin or Hollands.]

Of life shrunk in his heart, and thick and sooty

The drops fell from his death-wound, and he drew ill His breath, -he from his swelling throat untied A kerchief, crying, "Give Sal that!"—and died.


The cravat stain'd with bloody drops fell down
Before Don Juan's feet: he could not tell
Exactly why it was before him thrown,

Nor what the meaning of the man's farewell.
Poor Tom was once a kiddy (1) upon town,
A thorough varmint, and a real swell, (2)
Full flash, (3) all fancy, until fairly diddled,
His pockets first and then his body riddled.


Don Juan, having done the best he could
In all the circumstances of the case,
As soon as "Crowner's quest" (4) allow'd, pursued
His travels to the capital apace;·
Esteeming it a little hard he should

In twelve hours' time, and very little space,
Have been obliged to slay a freeborn native
In self-defence: this made him meditative.

(1) 【A thief of the lower order, who, when he is breeched by a course of successful depredation, dresses in the extreme of vulgar gentility, and affects a knowingness in his air and conversation, which renders him in reality an object of ridicule. — Vaux.]

(2) [Any well-dressed person is emphatically called a swell, or a real swell.-P. EGAN.]

(3) [A fellow who affects any particular habit, as swearing, dressing in a particular manner, taking snuff, &c. merely to be noticed, is said to do it out of flash.


(4) ["2d Clown. But is this law?

1st Clown. Ay marry is 't; crowner's quest law."- Hamlet.]

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