Orl. My lord, the first time that I ever saw him, Enter TOUCHSTONE and AUDREY. Jaq. There is, sure, another flood toward, and these couples are coming to the ark! Here comes a pair of very strange beasts, which in all tongues are called fools. Touch. Salutation and greeting to you all! Jaq. Good my lord, bid him welcome. This is the motley-minded gentleman, that I have so often met in the forest: he hath been a courtier, he swears. Touch. If any man doubt that, let him put me to my purgation. I have trod a measure; 1 I have flattered a lady; I have been politic with my friend, smooth with mine enemy; I have undone three tailors; I have had four quarrels, and like to have fought one. Jaq. And how was that ta'en up? Touch. 'Faith, we met, and found the quarrel was upon the seventh cause. Jaq. How seventh cause ?-Good my lord, like this fellow. Duke S. I like him very well. 2 Touch. God'ild you, sir; I desire you of the like. I press in here, sir, amongst the rest of the country copulatives, to swear, and to forswear; according as marriage binds, and blood breaks. A poor virgin, sir, an ill-favored thing, sir, but mine own; a poor humor of 1 A measure was a stately dance peculiar to the polished part of society, as the minuet in later times. 2 "I desire you of the like." This mode of expression occurs also in the Merchant of Venice, and in A Midsummer Night's Dream. It is frequent in Spenser: 3 i. e. passion. VOL. 11. of pardon you I pray." 43 1 mine, sir, to take that that no man else will. Rich honesty dwells like a miser, sir, in a poor house; as your pearl in your foul oyster. Duke S. By my faith, he is very swift and sententious.1 Touch. According to the fool's bolt, sir, and such dulcet diseases.2 Jaq. But, for the seventh cause; how did you find the quarrel on the seventh cause? Touch. Upon a lie seven times removed.3-Bear your body more seeming, Audrey:-as thus, sir. I did dislike the cut of a certain courtier's beard; he sent me word, if I said his beard was not cut well, he was in the mind it was: this is called the Retort courteous. If I send him word again, it was not well cut, he would send me word, he cut it to please himself: this is called the Quip modest. If again, it was not well cut, he disabled my judgment: this is called the Reply churlish. If again, it was not well cut, he would answer, I spake not true: this is called the Reproof valiant. If again, it was not well cut, he would say, I lie: this is called the Countercheck quarrelsome: and so the Lie circumstantial, and the Lie direct. Jaq. And how oft did you say, his beard was not well cut? Touch. I durst go no further than the Lie circumstantial, nor he durst not give me the Lie direct; and so we measured swords, and parted. Jaq. Can you nominate in order now the degrees of the lie? Touch. O, sir, we quarrel in print, by the book; as you have books for good manners. I will name you the degrees. The first, the Retort courteous; the second, the Quip modest; the third, the Reply churlish; the fourth, the Reproof valiant; the fifth, the Countercheck quarrelsome; the sixth, the Lie with circumstance; the seventh, the Lie direct. All these you may avoid, but the lie direct, and you may avoid that too, with an If. I knew when seven justices could not take up a quarrel; but when the parties were met themselves, one of them thought but of an If, as If you said so, then I said so; and they shook hands, and swore brothers. Your If is the only peace-maker; much virtue in If. 1 i. e. prompt and pithy. 2 "Dulcet diseases." Johnson thought we should read "discourses." 3 i. e. the lie removed seven times, counting backwards from the last and most aggravated species of lie, viz. the lie direct. 4 Seemly. 5 The poet has in this scene rallied the mode of formal duelling, then so prevalent, with the highest humor and address; nor could he have treated it with a happier contempt than by making his clown so conversant with the forms and preliminaries of it. The book alluded to is entitled, "Of Honor and Honorable Quarrels, by Vincentio Saviolo," 1594, 4to. Jaq. Is not this a rare fellow, my lord? He's as good at any thing, and yet a fool. Duke S. He uses his folly like a stalking-horse, and under the presentation of that, he shoots his wit. Enter HYMEN, leading ROSALIND in women's clothes ; and CELIA. Still Music. Hym. Then is there mirth in heaven, When earthly things, made even, 1 The Booke of Nurture; or, Schoole of Good Manners for Men, Servants, and Children, with stans puer ad mensam, 12mo., without date, in black letter, is most probably the work referred to. It was written by Hugh Rhodes, and first published in the reign of Edward VI. 2 " A stalking horse." See note on Much Ado about Nothing, Act ii. Sc. 3. 3 Rosalind is imagined by the rest of the company to be brought by enchantment, and is therefore introduced, by a supposed aerial being, in the character of Hymen. 4 i. e. at one; accord, or agree together. This is the old sense of the phrase, "an attonement, a loving againe after a breach or falling out. Reditus in gratia cum aliquo."-Baret. Ros. To you I give myself, for I am yours. [To Duke S. To you I give myself, for I am yours. [TO ORLANDO. Duke S. If there be truth in sight, you are my daughter. Orl. If there be truth in sight, you are my Rosalind. Phe. If sight and shape be true, Why then,-my love adieu ! Ros. I'll have no father, if you be not he. I'll have no husband, if you be not he ; [To Duke S. Nor ne'er wed woman, if you be not she.- Hym. Peace, ho! I bar confusion. 'Tis I must make conclusion [TO ORLANDO. [TO PHEBE. Of these most strange events: If truth holds true contents.1 [To ORLANDO and ROSALIND. You and you are heart in heart : [To OLIVER and CELIA. You [To PHEBE.] to his love must accord, Or have a woman to your lord : You and you are sure together, [TO TOUCHSTONE and Audrey. As the winter to foul weather. Whiles a wedlock-hymn we sing, Feed yourselves with questioning; 2 That reason wonder may diminish, How thus we met, and these things finish. 1 i. e. unless truth fails of veracity; if there be truth in truth. 2 i. e, take your fill of discourse. SONG. Wedding is great Juno's crown; Duke S. O my dear niece, welcome thou art to me; Phe. I will not eat my word, now thou art mine; Thy faith my fancy to thee doth combine. Enter JAQUES DE BOIS. [TO SILVIUS. Jaq. de B. Let me have audience for a word or two; I am the second son of old sir Rowland, Duke S. Welcome, young man : Thou offer'st fairly to thy brothers' wedding : 1 i. e. prepared. : |