not for I am with thee, be not dismayed for I am thy God; I will strengthen thee, yea, I will help thee, yea I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness." These precious words were applied to my honoured father's mind by the Spirit of God, while the Minister was reading them, and he was brought into marvellous light, and glorious liberty. Here I cannot but admire the wisdom and goodness of God, in the methods he takes to hide pride from man, and that he who glorieth may glory in the Lord. My dear father who had long been so great an hindrance to me, was brought into the favour and family of God before me: The consideration of this constrained me to praise God, and yet if possible it increased my trouble ten fold. I kneeled before the Lord throughout the whole service, and for a considerable time after it was over, weeping, trembling, and crying to the Lord for mercy, but deliverance was not yet. Mr. Hosmer in tender compassion to the souls which he saw in such deep distress, appointed a meeting for extraordinary prayer the next morning, which was Sunday, March 16, 1760. I went to that meeting deeply distressed, I may say with the greatest truth, I was weary and heavy laden, yet I went with a full expectation of finding the salvation of God. It appeared to me that I had no hope beyond that meeting, that if I did not find the Lord there, I never should find him; nothing but clouds and thick darkness appeared to me beyond that meeting: Before the service began, a person who tenderly pitied me said: Fear not, the Lord graciously visited your Father last night, and you will find the blessing this morning, you have been an instrument in his hand, in bringing all the family into the way, and he will not leave you behind. These words afforded me no comfort, as I knew very well, I must not expect salvation because I had done something good, but wholly by grace, through faith in the blood of Christ. The service no sooner began, then the Lord was wonderfully present: Wm. Richardson who had been ten years by the way side, was brought into liberty, and walked therein for many years, till he finished his earthly course with joy. I soon heard Jer. Preston, whose voice I well knew, cry for mercy, as if he would rend the very heavens; and his heaviness was soon turned into joy, and he has retained his confidence in God to this day. I was upon my knees in the middle of the room, and if possible, in greater anguish of Spirit than ever, surely the sorrows of death compassed me about, and the C pains of hell got hold upon me, I found trouble and heavi.. ness, then called I upon the name of the Lord, O Lord I beseech thee deliver my soul. He heard me from his holy hill, he spoke and I heard his voice. He graciously applied that blessed word to my mind, Isaiah xliii. 1. "Thou art mine." In a moment I was perfectly delivered from all my guilty fears, my deep sorrow, my extreme distress, was entirely gone. The peace of God flowed into my conscience, and the love of God was shed abroad in my heart abundant. ly: My whole soul was filled with serious, sacred, heavenly joy; yea I triumphed in the God of my salvation. The kingdom of heaven was certainly opened in my mind in that happy hour, and the light of God's countenance shone with resplendent brightness upon me. I did not know that the words applied to my mind, were in the scriptures, but this did not at all damp my joy in the Lord, as I was well assured, they were the voice of God to me. But very soon afterwards, my brother told me I might find them in the Bible, I rose early one morning, and after prayer, opened my Bible upon that very passage, this was a kind of sealing of the promise to my soul. The deliverance which the Lord wrought was so great, the change in my mind so extraordinary, that I never could doubt of my acceptance with God through Christ to this day. My convictions of fin had been so deep, painful and of fuch long continuance, that when deliverance came, it was not only the more welcome, but it was also the more clear: and having paffed through this very painful exercise of mind, and being favoured with so clear a manifestation of the love of God to my soul, no one who confiders this, need to wonder, that ever since I have acted in a public capacity in the church, I have been led to bear my testimony to the absolute necessity of every one enjoying the knowledge of falvation by the remifsion of fins; especially when the scriptures are so remarkably clear, and express upon that head. I had dreaded above all things resting short of this unspeakable blessing, as it appeared to me, dreadful beyond expreffion, to leave my eternal salvation in a state of fufpence: Hence I procured every book I could hear of, which treated on this fubject, and among others, Guthery's Trials of a Saving Interest in Chrift fell into my hand. I read it with great expectation, but alas, how was I disappointed when I found him insisting, that a person might be in a state of salvation, and yet not enjoy a sense of his acceptance with : God. I caft the book aside, and never read a fingle line in it for many years after. From what part of holy scripture, good and wife men have learned this dangerous doctrine, I never could fee to this day. Some time after this, I met with a small pamphlet intitled, The Chriftian Indeed, which was made an unspeakable blessing to me. The nature of a found converfion to God, and the way in which he generally manifests himself to the foul, as well as the happy effects which follow, are set in so clear, and fcriptural a light; that my judgment was more deeply convinced, and my understanding more fully enlightened in the things of God than ever, and I trust I shall have everlasting cause to praise him, for cafting that book in my way. In the preceding pages, we have seen the way in which the Lord led Mr. Pawson from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan to God; how he received remifsion of fins, and an inheritance amongst them that are sanctified through faith in Christ Jesus. Let us now take notice of his providential call to usefulness in the church; accord ing to his own accounts of it. : Having found salvation myself, I felt an intense defire, that others should enjoy the same unspeakable blessing; I therefore began a meeting for prayer on Sunday evenings, and many of our neighbours attended. As we had no one who could give a word of exhortation, I sometimes read a sermon, and the Homilies of the established church; these had not been heard of for a long time, therefore were quite new, and the inhabitants being one and all, churchpeople, were very willing to hear them. The minister of the parish, being as I said before a determined enemy to religion, was highly offended, and laboured to prejudice the people against me, but he lost his bad labour, and was so provoked by the people turning Methodists, that he left the town. I also read select passages from Burkitt on the New Testament, but this was attended with a good deal of trouble, as he does not always write agreeable to my judgment; hence I took God's own book, read part of a chapter, and endeavoured to explain it. The people bore with my weakness, and constantly attended at all opportunities, and my feeble endeavours were crowned with some degree of success. About six weeks after I found peace with God, Mr. Hosmer divided our little society into two classes, and made me the leader of one of them. This was a heavy cross, but I did not dare to refuse. The first time I met the class, I was brought into a much higher state of grace than before. From that time I enjoyed the abiding witness of the spirit, my mind was constantly stayed upon God, and I enjoyed uninterrupted communion with him. For many years after this, no evil temper, unholy desire, or carnal affection had any place in my soul, but I was favoured with the continual presence of God. I was exceedingly pressed to visit the neighbouring societies, to give them a word of exhortation, this I absolutely refused, as I thought myself utterly unqualified for any thing of that kind: but in 1761, Mr. John Johnson was stationed in the Leeds circuit, and from the first time he ever saw me, he was quite sure the Lord had called me to preach the gospel, and accordingly he followed me with continual advice, persuasion, and even threatening, if I would not obey the call of God. So satisfied was he in his own mind, that he put me into the plan among the local preachers before I had ever preached at all: This was a great and sore trial to me, and to avoid it, I had thoughts of leaving my own neighbourhood, and going where I was not known. However after much prayer when the time appointed came, I went to Horsforth and there attempted to preach upon John iii. 16. God so loved the world that he gave his on only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth on him should not perish but have everlasting life. I was appointed to preach at Chapel-Town the same day, but was at a loss for a text; I retired and while I was pleading with the Lord in prayer, the condescending meroy and love of God opened Jer. xxxi. 18, 19. to me, in such a manner as I shall never forget, and from this time I continued preaching occasionally till August 1762, when the general conference was held at Leeds, where Mr. Johnson earnestly pressed me to attend; I did so, and without my knowledge, he recommended me as a candidate for travelling as a preacher. When Mr. Wesley asked me if I was willing to give up myself to the work, I trembled exceedingly, as I was far from being satisfied that this was the will of the Lord concerning me; however as I seriously believed that they were a body of men, met together to order and settle the affairs of the church of God, I thought they certainly were under a divine influence: I therefore replied, "I am deeply sensi ble of my own weakness, and insufficiency for so great a work, but if you and the brethren think good to make trial of me, I give up myself to you." Accordingly I was sent to the York circuit, with Peter Jaco, John and Nicholas Manners, Richard Hinderson, and James Cottey. This was at that time a very large circuit, and took us eight weeks in going over it: But it was a very grevious trial to my dear parents and christian friends, to part with me, as they seriously thought that when I was gone, all would come to nothing; but the Lord took care of this; I was no sooner removed, but he raised up my brother, who filled up my place well, for many years; even to the time of his death. I had met a few people at Harewood, who were left as sheep without a Thepherd, but how wonderful are the ways of God. Many of the inhabitants when they heard that I was gone out to preach the gospel, faid if I would come and preach there, they would come and hear me; I did so, and they came accordingly, and from that time there has been preaching in that town, and many precious souls have been savingly brought to God, and some have died happy in his love. I entered upon my circuit with a single eye, am fatisfied that I had nothing in view but the honour of God, in the salvation of fouls, and such was the labour and toil, together with the many and great hardships, the preachers had to endure, that I rejoiced in hope, that I should foon be worn out, finish my course, and be happy with my God for ever. The work of the Lord prospered much in in feveral places, the people treated me with the tenderest affection, and the Lord condescended to crown my feeble labours with a blessing, I did not labour in vain or spend my strength for nought. I was not yet satisfied respecting my call to the Ministry. I was not always favoured with that freedom of mind and enlargement of heart in preaching, which is so desirable, and being naturally of a diffident spirit, and having sometimes to preach where there were Local preachers, who were as I supposed much wiser and better qualified than myself, this was a very heavy cross, and occasioned such reasoning in my mind, as tended very much to discourage me. However even by these trials I gained experience. I found upon enquiry, that frequently when I had little or no liberty in preaching, the people were very much blest, so that I plainly saw, it does not hold good in all cases, that when the Minis ter enjoys the greatest liberty in his own soul the people are |